Serve and Receive Bigger (10/1/2017)
In fall of 2005, I was invited to join a group of Brethren who were going to Uganda and Sudan. Our main objective was to help the New Sudan Council of Churches erect a building in Southern Sudan. I had no doubt God was calling me to go on this trip so I spent weeks getting the necessary immunizations, taking care of paperwork and gathering supplies. I was told that no matter how much our group prepared to carry out our agenda, we should be ready for things to move slowly or to change at any moment. Uganda and Sudan aren’t like the United States.
A few days before we left, my father asked: “What will you be doing there?” I responded with, “We’re supposed to help build a compound but I don’t know anything else.”
Dad: “Where are you going to sleep?”
Me: “We taking tents but some of us might be able to sleep in huts. I’m not really sure.”
Dad: “What kinds of food are you eating.”
Me: “I don’t know.”
After getting these three responses, my dad just stared at me. His mouth didn’t speak any words but his face said, “Are you crazy?” I was OK with this. I was so certain God wanted me to go that I was prepared to face whatever came my way, even if it meant never returning home. I actually wrote letters to my family, gave them to a friend and asked him to distribute them if I didn’t return. Praise God the trip went well. Although we did experience some delays and changes in itinerary, our group was never in danger. (At least not that we knew about anyway.)
I returned home and went back to work in the family business, which was going through a very difficult time financially. We did our best to pull through and thought at one time were going to make it. However, things just kept getting worse.
One day I snapped. I let loose on God. “Why are you letting this happen? You know how hard we’re trying? When we pray, we feel that we keep getting signs to keep going? Are we not hearing you?”
This went on until was I tired from yelling and I started to get hoarse. It lasted about 10 minutes. After I calmed down, I felt bad and asked God to forgive me.
As I processed the way I approached my trip to Africa with the way I handled our business situation, I began to wrestle with something. Why is it that I trusted God with my death but I didn’t trust him with my life? (more…)